here i am :o)

What you need to know about me by Patricia Jabbeh Wesley (slightly adapted by me – do check out the original whole poem)

 

What you need to know about me,
Is not when I moved to Scotland or
that I’m Polish, or that I have a degree in philosophy
But that I live in this world just like you.

 

That I wake up every morning, lit a candle and send a prayer for the world
That I love my ginger&lemon water first thing in the morning followed by a strong coffee.

 

That I listen to music and laugh out loud when the mood is right
That I cry when I read the news
That I love to dance

That I love dogs

 

What you need to know about me is not what country I am from
Or how many languages I speak
Or how I pronounce my name
But that I believe we are connected
by the simplest thread –
the need to be seen,
to be held,
to be heard.

My name is Bernadeta, now that you know all this, and still want to find out more about my journey to where I am now, here is more background of my story. 
 
For as long as I can remember, “my guiding assumption was – ‘something is fundamentally wrong with me’ – and I struggled. (…) my pursuit of pleasure was sometimes wholesome – in nature, with friends – but it also included an impulsive kind of thrill-seeking through recreational drugs, sex and other adventures.
 In the eyes of the world, I was highly functional. Internally, I didn’t feel at peace with any part of my life”. 
 

These words were written by Tara Brach in the prologue of her book, Radical Acceptance. Yet it feels like my own story. And maybe it feels like your story too. We humans often share such experiences. Feelings of not being enough, not fitting in, not belonging are pretty common. Fear of the unknown, asking yourself why am I here?

When I read the book for the first time years ago I sobbed, and sobbed and sobbed some more. There have been buckets of tears, many dances and moments of wordless joy since that time. There are wounds, sure, there are scars, sure. But there is also the power of healing, whichever route you choose.
 
I tried yoga, I tried meditation and finally in 2012 I found Conscious Dance. 
Only on the dance floor did I find the freedom, creativity, connection and the sense of belonging that I yearned for. 
Dance turned out to be my medicine, my refuge, my safe space.

It’s kind of ironic, because dance was also something I struggled with. I loved it, but I thought – I can’t dance, I can’t move gracefully, beautifully and of course, ‘I’m not good’ enough. I felt uncomfortable in my body. Again, same old story, nothing wrong with me on the outside, but on the inside, what a mess.

 

But the good news is that – “we don’t have to wait until we are in our death bed to realize what a waste of our precious lives it is to carry the belief that something is wrong with us. Yet because our habits of feeling insufficient are so strong, awakening from the trance involves not only inner resolve, but also an active training of heart and mind”. Gabrielle Roth, the creator of the 5 Rhythms said, “it takes discipline to be a free spirit” . It takes courage to change, time, perseverance, patience and support. I found the great support and teachers in the conscious dance community.
 

Dance brings me… closer to free, as well as cold  water swimming, being in nature, not taking myself too seriously.

Throughout my life I have always been of service in working with people, be it in the public sector as well as in a support setting, assisting people with autism  to live fulfilling and meaningful lives. Now I love holding space for people and sharing this medicine, the simplicity of movement, breath, exploration and freedom.

I love creativity in all forms and have a great passion for clowning and bringing joy. I believe that joy is a necessity in our ever-changing and challenging reality. This is why I have a great interest in healthcare clowning and the power of laughter.

I also love to take photographs (gallery coming soon), spend time with friends, cook, bake, go for long walks…and simply enjoy the little-big things in life. 

 

I sometimes forget, 
that I was created for joy
My mind is too busy, my heart too heavy
For me to remember, that I have been called to Dance, the Sacred Dance of life.

I was created to smile
To ove
To be lifted up
And to lift others up.

O Sacred one,
untangle my feet from all that ensnares.
Free my soul. that we might Dance
and that our dancing might be contagious.

~Hafiz

Dance & Zine workshop-9

my mission

I am a woman on a mission – I want the dance to be contagious because it’s one of the best things that happened in my life and I believe, that it’s like magic.

 

Dance plugs people into here and now. Dance is movement and movement is life. We are born to dance. Dancing changes the way we feel and think and boots our self esteem and is one of the most powerful forms of communication that we have.

Dr Peter Lovatt

my values

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle – Albert Einstein.

 

Life is such a journey and there is no manual when we are born. But what I’ve learned so far is that kindness doesn’t cost and can make a huge difference, a smile is the shortest distance between people and an ice breaker, and “if you think you are too small to make a difference, try sleeping with a mosquito” – His Holiness Dalai Lama

 

I don’t have the power to take away suffering.

I have  the power to bring joy

– Allie Olson